What I would go back and tell myself.

Making the decision to adopt a child with a cognitive disability was not an easy thing for me.  Sure, we jumped right in when we had our answer that it was right.  But I have to be honest. I had some serious turmoil going on. There were days when I thought I would crawl right out of my skin with anxiety. I think it's pretty close to what any expectant mother feels when she finds out that the child she's carrying will have a disability.

My heart told me that Anya was meant to be our daughter and that God would take care of us and make us equal to the calling no matter what.

But my head?  Oh boy, it told me a whole lot of other stuff.  I was so afraid of the unknown.

You name it, I worried about it.

All that anxiety disappeared after about six months, when we met our girl. But those were some awful months leading up to that day. I sure wish I knew then what I know now.  If I could go back to that time, these are the things I would tell myself:

Your everyday life won't be that different.
In fact, it will be about the same.

   After you all adjust, she'll feel like one of the family.

   She's going to change your perspective about many things.

People won't stare at you when you're out in public. 

 The other kids will adore her and want to show her off any chance they get.

   You'll learn how to lean on your Savior. Especially when you make mistakes.

   She will blossom, no matter how much of a slacker you are.

   She will meet all her IEP goals in Kindergarten.

  Don't get frustrated when she just doesn't "get" something. She will eventually.

  She will actually be easier to parent than you imagined.

  You will make a lot of amazing friends because of her.

  The only time you'll feel frustrated is when your expectations are too high. Learn to adjust.

  Don't expect her to fit into a certain box. Allow her to create her own.
She is exactly the person that God created her to be.

  Embrace this calling for what it is. A privilege. She's one of God's most valiant spirits.

  You will absolutely beam with pride when she finally learns things that were easy for your other kids to learn.

Having her will strengthen your marriage.

  You'll be humbled more than once when she does embarrassing things. But just go with it. It's all meant to grow you into the person that God intends for you to be.

  You're actually going to love her so much that you'll decide to follow your gut and do it all again.

March 21 is World Down Syndrome Day. We live in a society that aborts over 90% of fetuses who are given a diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I wish I could talk to each one of the mammas out there who find out their baby has DS. I would tell them all those things, and more!  There is something amazing about having a family member with an extra 21st chromosome. I call it the best-kept secret in the world.