Reflections and Resolutions

Jeremy and I celebrated our 17th anniversary Saturday.
It was an amazing day. 

We started off with a trip to the new Oquirrh Mountain LDS Temple,
then enjoyed a great performance of "Father of the Bride"
at the Hale Center Theatre,
then walked around the Gateway and City Creek
in downtown SLC and ate a delicious dinner at Thai Foon. 

It was so nice to have all those hours with just the two of us,
reflecting, talking about life, 

and just celebrating "us."

It's interesting how birthdays and anniversaries cause you to reflect on how quickly life passes by. We were talking during dinner about how simple our lives were when we only had a couple of kids, and how it seems like that was just yesterday.

Now, here we are, almost 5 children later.

Who would have guessed that we would have 7 kids,
 including two that are adopted and have special needs.

Crazy what life brings, ain't it?

We will be heading to Russia in a few weeks to meet
our little angel that the Lord has chosen for us. 
I can hardly believe it!

This adoption journey so far has been much easier than the last. 

But I have to admit, that old familiar *opposition* is creeping in. We've been plowing through this process, excited and happy about everything, then WHAM, all of a sudden, the negative thoughts that we had before making the decision are creeping in. The old foe has to try to make his last-ditch effort to stop us. I hate that we haven’t mastered the art of pushing the negative thoughts out the minute they enter.  

Jeremy starts worrying again about how he’s going to keep providing for everyone and making sure that each of our children get all of the focus and attention that they need so that nothing falls through the cracks and no one feels resentment.

I start worrying about leaving the children and being so far away from them. 

Then, I sit and worry about whether or not we will love Hazel as much as we hope to.
(Just being honest.)

Then there's those other thoughts that pop up out of nowhere:

Envy for friends who can easily take their families
on fun vacations to exciting places.

Guilt and frustration that our older kids are going to be
gone before we know it,
and we can't "get it all in" while they are with us.

Doubt that we'll be able to keep everything afloat around here.

Longing for an easier phase of life. 

Wondering why we’re making things more crazy.

 

It’s funny how these conversations come up whenever we celebrate
birthdays or anniversaries. 

Or when we’re about to do something big.  

But it seems like every time we talk it it out,
we always end up asking ourselves
the same question:

When all is said and done 

and our brief visits on this earth are over, what will we still have?

What will we take with us?

 

The answer is always the same:

It won't be things, or conveniences. 

What we will have forever is this:

 

our relationships

 

our testimonies

 

 

and the wisdom that we gained, as a result of our experiences.

 

At the end of my life, I want to say with conviction 

that I developed, and used the gifts that my Father in Heaven gave me

so that I could make a difference while I was here.

 

And in the meantime, that my family learned how to share 

 

 

to serve

 

and to forgive.

 
 

That they learned the value of hard work

 

and how to appreciate the bounty that He blesses us with
and how to thank.

 

It's impossible to learn all these things 

and have an easy life at the same time.
 

 

So…this is our path. 

I’m resolving today, that I will fully embrace it!

I will live in the present

learn from the past

have hope and prepare for a bright future 

and enjoy the little things in life.

Because that's what life is all about, folks. It really is.

Bring on the challenges...bring on the joy!

Bring on...Hazel!

(Here's her latest photo that a friend found and e-mailed to me yesterday.

She's grown up and changed so much since her last picture. It's time to go!)