Bad Boy Chains

There was this cute lady on my mission in South Carolina who would say "Oh, I've got the Bad Boy chained around my neck today!" My  companion and I thought it was so funny and we would repeat that phrase a lot.  It still pops into my head whenever I'm feeling aggravated, frustrated, or short on patience. Somehow it helps me step outside of the situation and realize that someone doesn't want me to be at peace at that moment. And that someone is the "Bad Boy," a.k.a. Satan.

I've noticed that the Bad Boy likes to make his appearance most often when I'm about to do something or go somewhere where I'm likely to grow closer to God, such as the temple or church.  Whenever Jeremy's church callings take him out of our home on Sundays, I seem to get tense really easily. Right now, he's the Executive Secretary to the Bishop, which requires him to go to several meetings on Sunday mornings.  It's funny.  I'm so grateful that he's worthy to serve in the priesthood and I know it brings him great joy and it blesses our family like crazy. But...I feel that Bad Boy coming in for the choke almost every time!

I'll be totally fine, happy about things, just going about my business and suddenly one of the kids will do or say something that-normally I would ignore-but Jeremy's gone and I'm having to carry the load by myself!  So I turn into an irratable witch. I know it's a weakness and I've been working on it ever since I've been a mother.

This morning when Jeremy left at 7:00 for his meetings, I decided that I was going to make this Sunday morning great.  I got up, read a little from the Ensign, made breakfast for the kids, dressed the little boys ahead of time, had the Tabernacle Choir singing away on the telly...everything was sweet.

Then the ripple effect started.

Max wants to build a Bionical in his room by himself. So he locks the door. This leads to Bennett getting all upset and crying.  I  ask Max to please be kind to his little brother and let him in because it IS his room, too. This leads to him running to the bathroom and locking the door so Bennett can't get in, which makes Bennett more furious and causes him to wail more loudly than before. Eli decides he wants to cry for a bottle. Landon tries to solve things by pushing Bennett, which leads to the Bad Boy climbing right around my neck.

At this point I'm not yelling. Just sighing loudly and pleading with Landon to help make things more peaceful, not worse, and to please go downstairs and get showered. Now Landon starts complaining because Sadie is taking a long time in the shower downstairs and using all the hot water and he wants to use mine, which won't happen because I still need to get ready.

The tension keeps growing. Finally, I bang on the bathroom door and tell Max to come out NOW!

"Look at what you're doing, Max! It's Sunday morning and it's supposed to be peaceful, and you're causing Bennett to yell, and Eli to yell...and you're causing ME to yell!"

The funny thing is, I know very well that no one can MAKE you yell. You yell because you choose to. I'm making me yell. I almost laugh outloud at myself for saying such a stupid thing to my almost 8-year-old son, who is learning all about making choices and being accountable.

So, here's the kicker.  I give Eli a bottle to settle him down, go into my bathroom to finish getting ready. I take a deep breath and tell myself to listen to the peaceful music. Maybe it would teach me something about how to be a decent mom. And what's the good 'ol Mo Tab singing? Let There be Peace on Earth and Let it Begin with Me.  All I could do is laugh.  How timely was that?

By the time Jeremy came home to get us all out of the door, you would never have known any of this had happened.  In fact, he commented on how quiet it was in the house.  Funny how things can go from heaven to hell and back to heaven in a matter of minutes.

This scenerio was really nothing out of the ordinary for our family on Sunday before church, or ANY day for that matter.  I doubt that a day goes by when we don't have tense moments like this. But this morning, it got me thinking about this weakness of mine called selfishness, and the Bad Boy, and what I can do NOW to keep him from imposing on my progression.

Here's what I read in the March Ensign tonight.  I loved this quote by Richard G. Scott, one of our twelve apostles:

"The Lord is intent on our personal growth and development. … Progress is accelerated when we willingly allow Him to lead us through every growth experience we encounter. … If we question every unpleasant challenge, … we make it harder for the Lord to bless us.” But if we center our hearts and minds on the Lord’s will, we will gain more happiness in the journey and more fulfillment in life.

I know I'm going to look back at this time in my life someday and long for it.  These are our happiest days on earth.  We have amazing kids, and this is the only time when they are all home, allowing us to influence their lives on a daily basis.  If I want the Bad Boy to go away during critical times, I have to make the decision  right then to allow the Spirit to be the winner and the Lord to be in the center of my heart and mind. My weaknesses will only make me stronger if I constantly work on improving and aligning my will with the Lord's.  That's what I learned today!  Thanks for reading my little journal entry. :)