Released

Last Sunday, after 2 1/2 years serving as our ward's Primary President, I was sadly released.

I knew it was probably coming soon with the new baby and all, but I didn't know how hard it was going to be! I was SO teary all day Sunday. I can't explain the feelings I've had about all of this. Something that I have invested so much of my self, my thoughts, my time, my everything into for so long, has now been taken from my life and given to someone else. I realize how attached I became to the children, and oddly enough, the mantle that was placed on me for that time. I've decided it's sort of a greiving process, letting go of that part of my life and moving on.

I invited the primary children to come by my house between 2:00 and 4:00 that afternoon and share with me a scripture and their thoughts on that scripture, and in turn I would give them a treat. There were about 50 of them that stopped by. I loved sitting in front of them, hearing them read from the scriptures, then hearing some of them bear testimony. The spirit bore witness to me once again the beauty that the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings into us as human beings, from the time that we are small. I had to hold my tears back as they read to me. It was the perfect "pay check" and just what I needed that day.

Some of the things I will miss about this calling:

• My weekly association with the presidency. We have become such close friends.
• Hearing sweet voices sing beautiful songs each week.
• Looking down at the little Jr. Primary children (including my own,) all dressed to perfection, sitting in tiny chairs, and seeing their faces light up when I say something interesting to them.
• Trying something that seems like a stretch, and seeing it actually work (for example, having them learn the Articles of Faith.)
• Those somewhat rare Sundays when they are reverent and really engaged.
• My association with the Bishopric and Ward Council
• Seeing the children around the neighborhood and feeling like they are mine in a way. I love when they say "Hi, Sister Fillmore!" I hope they still will.

Of course, there are a few things that I won't miss, as well. It will be nice to have a more simple life with less details to think about, like Sharing Time preparation, sacrament meeting presentations and quarterly activities. But knowing me, I'll fill my time with something else.

It's always tough making transitions in life. But one of the things I love about being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that you are ALWAYS needed by others, and given chances to learn new things from different people and grow in different ways. I love change. Sometimes it's hard, but it's always worth it!