Catching Up

My blogging has been really quick and simple lately. Just pictures and a few words. There's so much going on, I just don't make the time to sit and write. So tonight, I thought I'd sit here and write whatever seems to come to my mind. There's so much to catch up on!

March snow :/

It's March 23 and we woke up to a blanket of snow on the ground. Blech. I love snow, but after about February, I no longer welcome it. A couple of weeks ago, it was in the 70's all week. Ahhh that was heaven. This week has been cold. That's March for you.

Almost time to escape!

Can't wait for our trip to St. George next weekend. We're going to spend Easter with G&G Hinton and lots of cousins.

This will be our first road trip with 9 of us. Our Toyota minivan only seats 8, so, instead of getting a bigger vehicle, we have opted to keep our paid-off cars and drive two whenever we go on road trips. These trips only happen a few times a year, so it's more cost-effective this way. So far, it's worked fine taking two cars to church and to our occasional family outings, when we're all together.

Morning smoothies.

I know green smoothies are all the rage right now, so I thought I'd take a picture of what usually goes into our kid's. I make one nearly every morning because it's the only way to get all their supplements into them. I use a water base with a little juice concentrate or Emergen-C for sweetening, then I fill it all the way to the top with spinach and/or kale, then blend it down for a second. Then I add frozen fruit or berries, flax seeds and probiotics. (I would use Greek yogurt for protein, but Hazel can't have dairy. It makes her face bright red.) Once I pour it into their little cups, I add their liquid multivitamin (we're using Kids Calm right now because the magnesium helps them stay calm at school.) and fish oil. Then I add liquid B12 to Anya and Hazel's and vitamin D drops under their tongues. It takes a while to do all of this, but I love sending them off knowing they have lots of nutrients in their little bodies. And they love their smoothies.


Church calling.

My calling at church right now is the Secretary in the Young Women organization. We have 37 young women between the ages of 12 and 18 in our ward. They meet for an hour every Sunday for spiritual discussions and Wednesday night for activities. I am loving this time that I get to be involved in this part of Sadie's life. I get to teach lessons once a month. Last month, I taught the Mia Maids (ages 14-15) a lesson called "Why do the choices I make matter?" Tomorrow, I'll teach the Laurels (ages 16-17) the lesson called "Why is it important that I forgive others?" We are loving the new curriculum that the church put out for the youth. I love how much more involved the girls are in the discussions. It's been amazing seeing how gigantic their spirits really are. Every week, I'm blown away with their insights and knowledge of the gospel. I learn so much from them! This has also been so perfect for making me take time to study the gospel. I so need this challenge right now.

Landon's latest.

Our oldest boy has been busy lately! He goes to high school during the day, then works 4-5 nights a week at Arby's. (How do you like the picture we snuck on night when we went through the drive-thru?)

He's also on the tech crew for the Drama dept. at school, so whenever there's a play in the works, he spends hours and hours at the school. They are just now performing "Singing in the Rain." Max and I went last night, and WOW that was impressive.  Every scene change represented hours of work on our boy's part. This has been so great for him to be involved in.

 

After the show ended last night, I went up to the stage and filmed him mopping up the water that showered down on the cast. Yah--they had real water! (Landon is the cute boy in the black hoodie.)

 

 

Landon has grown up so much lately. I'm kind of having a hard time with it. I'm so happy that he's doing such good things, and that he's become so responsible. But at the same time, I get a lump in my throat when I realize that in less than 18 months, he'll be out on his mission. Since the church changed the missionary age from 19 to 18, a lot of boys are leaving for their 2 year missions right after high school. That's so soon! It will be here before we know it! I'm not feeling ready to cut the apron strings, but just like all of us Mormon mamas, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's going to be so exciting when the time comes.

 

Jeremy's office move.

 

Jeremy's five-year lease for his office finally ended this month.  He built his office out and it's so nice. But his lease payment every month was way too high, and all that money was going to into his landlord's pocket.  So now that his lease is finally up, he's been looking for a place that he can buy and fix up.

 

He found this little bank-owned retail space on American Fork Main Street back in February. We were so excited to renovate it and make it Northland Design's new home. It was going for really cheap and the bank had even accepted a half-price offer on it! 

 

Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. This space had been forclosed for a reason. No business will ever survive in that spot. There's a stingy old man who owns the parking spaces next to it. He downright refuses to sell or rent any of his spaces to anyone who doesn't rent any of his commercial space. So after a month of dreaming about fixing up this little spot, Jeremy had to give up on it. Right now, all their office furniture and equipment is in storage and he and his 3 employees are working out of an architect's office while they wait for the right place to come available to buy. It suits them fine and they aren't in a hurry. They want to find just the right place.

 

Our budding gymnast.

 

We've discovered that Bennett has quite the knack for gymnastics! A couple of years ago, when I was teaching aerobics every week at the city Rec Center, he went to a class for preschoolers. His teacher told me back then that he thought Bennett had some great potential. Ever since that time, Bennett been reminding me how much he wants to start back up again. I finally put him in one of the beginning classes a couple months ago. He loves it! This same coach remembered him from two years ago and came up to me when I was picking him up and asked if we would consider putting him in competitive gymnastics. I told him I wasn't sure if we had the time for that kind of commitment right now, but we would think about it for the next few months. We're planning to move him up to the advanced class in April. We'll see just how committed he is! He has an aversion to homework, so I told him that if he did his homework without complaining every day from now until the school year ends, we would start competitive gymnastics in the fall. We'll see what happens. :) 

 

 

The daily pick-up.

 

This is the view I have from my car window every afternoon at 2:40. Since our school goes from K to 9th grade, Sadie is still at the same school as our little ones. She goes in to Anya's classroom after school and picks her up, then they come out to the back and meet Max and Bennett and wait for me to drive through the carpool lane.

We live only about 4 blocks from the school. I want to make them walk home every day so bad because they need the exercise! But little Anya makes this impossible right now. She walks terribly slowly and won't cooperate. Sadie's 14 year old patience runs too thin. Maybe next year she'll be ready. One can only hope!

 

Thanks, Lisa!

 

On Sadie's birthday in February, we received a surprise package in the mail. It was a box full of presents for everyone in the family, all the way from Germany! Our sweet foreign student that we hosted back in 2007 sent it.

 

Pumpernickel breads, lots of Chocolate, hand cream, a cute notebook for Sadie, and lots of other fun stuff. She even sent us some sketches she had drawn of the 4 oldest (the ones who were in our family when she was here) a few years ago. We love Lisa! She will always have a special place in our hearts.

Nights out.

Among all the chaos, Jeremy and I still make time to go out almost every weekend. We both agree that it's vital because we have NO time to connect all week long. There seems to be at least one child talking to us every minute of the day. We love our date nights. Sometimes it's as simple as a drive across town to get a smoothie.

Once in a while, we invite friends, like the Englebright's to join us. There's something so refreshing and...just...I don't know...wonderful about having uninterrupted adult conversation with good friends. It does the weary parent good.

 

Then, there's the Mommy's nights out.

 

Since we've hopped into this new world called Down Syndrome, I've met some of the most fun, wonderful friends. Mommies who have kids with special needs really need to connect with others who are walking the same walk. Thanks to the Internet, we get to know each other a little bit online, but we love meeting once every month or so to hang out in person, as well!

 

 

Back in January, I got to spend a night and morning with a few from the Salt Lake City area. We stayed in a Hotel downtown. We stayed up until 4 am talking, playing games, eating and laughing. There is always so much to talk about. Potty training, school issues, behavior solutions...it just feels good to sit and talk to other moms who "get" it.  And I love how they all say they that when their friends get pregnant they secretly hope that they'll win the lottery and get a baby with Ds. If people could hear us talking, they would die! Ha ha!But we are all in on one of the best kept "secrets" out there. ;)

 

This was a Ds Mom's Night Out in February. As you can see, they are always well-attended.

 

 

Dog issues.

Sweet Rocky. We got this Snorkie last July and he's been the best doggy. We all adore him. He rarely barks, he loves the kids, he's loyal, he's usually obedient...he's just a great dog.

But we have one issue. We recently learned that he's been peeing in the living room. I didn't know it was a problem until we had the carpets cleaned about a month ago. The steam cleaning brought all the smells to the surface. He likes to lift his leg around our black leather chair. UGGG. I've tried vinegar, baking soda, pet odor remover, liquid enzymes...the smell won't leave. UGGG. I'm the only one who seems to be able to smell it. Everyone says I'm overly stressed about it. I guess my nose is more sensitive or something.

I have always been a dog lover.  But I'm also one who likes a fresh-smelling house. The two make a difficult combination. Rocky is definitely an "inside" dog now...at least in the winter. He's not used to staying out in the cold and he scratches at the door repeatedly when it's cold. I don't blame him. Look at how the snow gets in his fur. Not fun.

What to do? What to do?



Sunday night rituals.

One of the kids' new favorite things to do on Sunday nights (after we've sat and folded all the laundry together,) is to look at old mission pictures or listen to us talk about our missions. Jeremy served in South Africa from 1989-1991 and I served in South Carolina from 1993-1994. We met after Jeremy's mission and before mine. He waited for me and we wrote letters during the 18 months that I served. I compiled all those letters into a binder. The kids love reading them. Sadie has now learned that her parents haven't always been boring. They were once fun and flirty with each other. She gets all giddy when she reads our letters. Love that.

 

Bedtime routines.

 

It's no secret. Anya doesn't like to go to bed. She's been with us for two years now, and she still puts up a huge stink every single night. All of her OCD-ness comes out in full force when she's tired and it's time for that bedtime routine to begin. 

She has to sit in "her" spot to brush her teeth. She gets the sink on the left. Never the one on the right. She has to have the big stool to get up on the counter with, and Eli can't use it until she has taken it over to the toilet and used it to get on the toilet (she can get on it just fine...it's just part of the routine at night.) Then she has to have Dad take her into her room to get jammies on, read stories and say prayers because Mom doesn't know the order of things. Mom sometimes forgets that she has to fill up her cup with water and carry it to the night stand, and that SHE has to be the one to turn on the light in the bedroom. And it's very rare that she will put on her jammies without turning on her "motor whine" sound and leaving it on throughout the process.

 

There is an occasional night, maybe once a week, when she goes with the flow at bedtime. On these nights, we get all excited thinking that maybe she's growing out of this phase. But nope, the next night she's back in business as the biggest bedtime complainer on the planet.

 

So Jeremy puts her to bed every night while I'm in Eli's room putting him to bed. Eli is very particular about making sure we get certain things in every night as well. I have to read him two stories, then sing him two songs, say prayers with him, give him a hug and a kiss, and make sure he has a cup full of water. The difference with Eli is that the order doesn't matter...but his intention is to make the routine last as long as humanly, painfully possible. After I leave, there are usually tears because he want more hugs, more songs, more anything. He just wants me to stay in there with him. Jeremy is always done with Anya long before I'm done with Eli.

 

And as for the Hazel-girl, she goes down about 30-60 minutes later on days that she has had a nap, or a couple minutes later on days when she hasn't. It's easy to put her down. She's not as particular about the routine. She whines because she doesn't want to go to bed, but then she stops as soon as you lie her down, and she puts her ring finger up to her mouth (she doesn't actually suck on it, she just puts it there) and starts sucking on the back of her tongue for comfort. She usually goes to sleep pretty quickly. The challenge is when she's not tired and she wakes Anya up.

 

We often comment that one day we're going to look back at this time and just smile. I wonder if we'll forget how challenging it was. Right now, I can't imagine forgetting. But they say you do.

Me.

I'm not gonna lie. This 2nd adoption has been a hard one. The first one was hard for the first 8 months or so, and we thought that this one would be easier because we knew what to expect a little more.

 

Not so. Hazel brings different challenges than Anya did. Namely: busyness and noise. Think of having two competitive 3.5 year olds, then adding a non-verbal 2-year-old to the mix, who likes to make sure she's always the loudest one in the house. This is basically what we're dealing with right now. 

 

When you have (or even adopt) babies, they're so sweet and helpless and you have all those months to bond before they become cute but naughty toddlers. This really helps in the patience department.

 

However, when you adopt a toddler, all of a sudden, this child shows up in your life, dripping in toddler-ness. There's no history of endearment leading up to that point, other than the fact that you've been paper chasing for months and dreaming about her.  The fact is, you're thrown into a fire, right along with this precious child who needs you to pick up all the many shards of abandonment and neglect. And you wonder why it's not all teddy bears and snuggles. Your patience is thin. Every day you have to step outside yourself and remind yourself how broken this child truly is, and that her healing will only happen if you nurture and teach with kindness. You tell yourself how unkind you are, and that turns into lots of guilt. Satan starts making you feel like you're just not cut out for it.

 

Also, I don't know how to put it into words, but I'm going through kind of a grieving process right now. I'm not exactly sure what I'm grieving. Maybe it's the "normal" life that is no longer to be. Maybe it's the fact that all of a sudden (it seems) I can't put the same time into the "little" things that I used to. Maybe I feel like time is marching forward too quickly and I'm not truly experiencing each of my kids' childhoods.  I'm just surviving the days, looking forward to bedtime so I can enjoy some peace and quiet.

 

Whatever it is that's causing me grief, I don't like it. I want to know how I can fully accept this new normal, then embrace it and LOVE everything about it!

 

When I sit here and count my blessings, I'm amazed! I have SO MUCH to be happy about. I love these girls. They have brought such deeper meaning to our lives.  I think about how much we've all learned because of them, and I would never want to go back.  So what's my problem?  

 

Anyhow...for those of you who actually are still reading this very long post ...you may be thinking, (as I do on a daily basis)  "Duh, of course you're going to be depressed when you adopt two kids with Down Syndrome. Who wouldn't be? Why did you bring this upon yourself?"  

 

And here is my answer:

 

Because they are our daughters.  Any parent would tell you that they would give up literally anything on this earth for their children. We're just like any parents.

 

So that's that! Honestly, I'll be fine. I went through these same feelings each time I had a baby, they are just a little more complex now. I know things will get better as the weeks pass. They always do.

 

How was that for a long blog post?  It was good to catch things up a bit today. I'd like to thank this blog for being my sounding board, my therapist and my friend. I love you, blog. I feel much better now.