In an effort to prepare you for the adventure of having our ever-so-happy but adventurous 20-month-old Eli in your home, and ensure that we will still be friends, I have been collecting a few pictures the past several months, and will now give you some specific directions that are very important to follow.
You may want to keep notes.
How to Eli-Proof your Home
#1 Keep your pantry door locked at all times. If you do not have a lock on your pantry door, you may want to consider installing one, or putting one of those white things on the doorknob.
#2 Make sure nothing of importance is on your desk.
#3 Barricade any area where you will be mopping the floor.
unless you want little footprints all over.
Or help, of course.
#4 Use a bungee chord to tie all the kitchen chairs together to prevent him from climbing on the table.
#5 Eli's favorite spot is the kitchen counter. If you have bar stools at your counter, I'm sorry.
You'll have to hide them in a locked closet or another room for the time being.
If your bar stools are attached, go back to #3 for directions on keeping Eli out of the kitchen.
If there's no way to barricade your kitchen off, I'm really sorry.
For example, here we have The Eli-ster exploring whatever looked interesting on the counter just today.
Same spot, this evening.
Guilty, once again.
#6 Keep your trash and recycle bins locked away.
Or, if you're like us, you can just put them on top of the counter about ten times every day.
#7 Never, I repeat NEVER leave butter, shortening, or anything gooey or creamy
within reach of his little hands.
within reach of his little hands.
As you can see by the blurriness of this picture, it will shake you right up.
#8 If you don't have child-proof thingies on your cabinets, connect the knobs with rubber bands.
#9 Finally, if you notice that it's a little quiet in your house, you may want to hunt the boy down.
In most cases, he is getting away with somethin'.
If, after reading this, you would like to back out of your offer, please know that we understand and will think nothing less of you as our friend or family member. We don't know what in the heck we'll do, but really, it's OK.
My seventy year old mother is still recovering from her four days of Eli in November.
She has asked me several time how on earth we are going to survive this next year, with another "toddler" in the home.
That is a very good question, Mom.
And the answer is...
we have no idea.
Oh, and one more thing.
#10 Put your plants up. He pulls the leaves off and excavates the dirt.
(Notice the clothes are the same as several of the pics above. All in a day's work, my friends.)
2 comments:
Hilarious post! What a darling boy. I guess I am very fortunate--none of my 3 kids got into stuff like that...or climbed. Jealous? LOL! Say "hello" to Jeremy for me (I was on the LDSSA Activities Council with him--he'll know me as Julie Thompson. :)
Cute post about a cute boy!
I'd still take him! =)
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